1. |
Christmastime
02:34
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there's a fire in its place
christmastime
there's a bird in its place
christmastime
there's no law against loving the snow
there's no law against ho ho ho
there's grandma with her face
christmastime
there's a baby with its face
christmastime
there's the turkey - let's baste
christmastime
this joy is not a waste
christmastime
the tree is trimmed, the gifts are wrapped,
the snow has fell, our hearts are rapt -
christmastime!
the laws of time and space dictate
that this can only be one day
it's christmastime!
there's a tree in the room
christmastime
our bellies are stuffed with food
christmastime
you are in your place
christmastime
i am in my place
christmastime
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2. |
Prelude to the Plow
02:34
|
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Snow falls gently
down into my eyes
as the silence of Christmas
falls over the street...
I blink it away now,
while the hazy street lamps
guide my feet to the spade
ever waiting, ever waiting...
And the drive -
from which I don't expect ever
to extricate my conveyance...
So, I dig out a plot
with a view of the window
where Carol and the kids
have strewn up bright
coloured lights...
And maybe those candles
that aren't really candles,
but glow brilliant red
against the dark
of the night...
I dig out that plot,
and I lay myself in it,
and await the sweet bliss
of the oncoming plow...
|
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3. |
Not That
03:19
|
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And no I won't sleep on that
musty cot
that plastic wrapped
mattress suffocator.
Not that creak of floorboard
Not that chiming clock
Not that 4AM footprint.
Not that. Not that.
And this time of year is just
crushed Xanax
around the rim of my
Daiquiri glass
Hazy creak of floorboard
muffled chiming clock
violent 4AM sex dream
Xanax...
Xanax...
|
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4. |
||||
this season calls for new adventures in shame
this season calls out my name
i beat my fist on the turkey that you made
i beat my fist on the table, your family screams...
"what are you doing with this fucking asshole?
what are you doing? Let's put him out in the snow."
i am so proud of all of the gifts that i bought
the gas tank for timmy and all of the rest that i lost
and all you could give me were yr tears and yr scorn
i am going down to the bar to get drunk where it's warm
what am i doing with you fucking assholes?
what am i doing with you, I'd rather not know.
the weatherman curses my name
santa claus curses my name
my mother curses my name
the father curses my name
they scream,
"what are you doing? Don't you feel shame
scrounging around looking for people to blame?
the year gets cold, the wind blows, but you live
look in yr heart, see you have something to give."
No, no...
No, no...
No, I don't.
No, no...
No, no...
No, I don't.
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5. |
Song for the Lovers
02:18
|
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No more fucking.
No more fucking.
No more naked fun.
No more sexy one.
No more bedroom.
No more privacy.
Only living room.
Only TV.
Now take off your pants,
and just sit there
in the bluish glow -
In your underwear.
Rub your hands together.
Doesn't it feel warm,
and open up your heart
to the wholesome part?
(don't fuck).
No more fucking.
No more fucking.
No more naked fun.
No more sexy one.
No more fucking.
(don't fuck).
|
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6. |
||||
Gather here, by the fire,
as the last embers fade
into darkness...
And the last sign of life
in the abyss of our hollowness
will be the intensifying prismatic glow
of the Christmas Light!
Christmas Light!
As the frost grips our fingers
the snowfall will break our silence.
Transfixed by the rapture,
our secret shames will be erased
in the blinding and chromatic beams
of the Christmas Light!
Christmas Light!
Thousands of people will share in this moment
where little dreams mean so much less.
As its brilliance consumes
all our wasteful lives
we're rewritten by
the perfect sparkling
myriad of colours -
despite all our dullness
It's reflecting off nothing but
pure snow...
We will be nothing but
pure snow...
red, green,
red, green,
Christmas Light!
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7. |
Tryptophan Halo
02:53
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It's the holidays!
It's time to reveal to your daughter in law
that her husband
was infested by worms as a young boy
because parasites are endearing
or somethin'.
In that horrid daze
of a shoe-polished nightmare
this weekend, this night is my own hell.
For these holidays,
that Tryptophan Halo
will squeeze 'round your shoulders
and crush you.
It's that holiday...
the one where you sleep through the day
just to prolong your dreaming.
It's a dream of yuletide fires burning
the house and your family to cinders...
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8. |
The Queen's Address
03:58
|
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Didn't get what I wanted
but it's on its way.
This kind of present
doesn't come in a sleigh.
Will she tell us 'bout the aliens?
Share her feelings about wing-tipped shoes?
Paint us by numbers?
Rise from the primordial ooze?
And I would slam a child's face into a wall
for just one moment...
of the Queen's Address!
I waited all morning.
I waited 'til noon.
Over a refreshing glass of eggnog
I studied the runes...
Will she fill us with saintly needs?
Bake us a townhouse?
Sign all of our trading cards?
Bring life to the Commonwealth?
And I would dropkick a cat across the skies
for just one precious moment...
of the Queen's Address!
[The vigorous dancing of enthusiasts of the monarchy, while under the influence of spiked 'nog ensues, injuring at least one family member. This is compulsory.]
I'm coming to see her.
But it'll take a few days...
I'll step on my pony,
and I'll ride away...
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9. |
Old Shame
04:02
|
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At last you have come
to the place you called home
to be treated as guest
in your mother's vestibule.
As she parades you around
past the questioning faces
of family you've not seen
for ages and ages -
and in moments it's started;
already bombarded with...
Old Shame, like before.
And each Christmas, you're gifted with a little more.
It's just Old Shame, like before.
Each christmas, you're gifted with a little more.
Last year's unwanted sweater
that you have to wear,
the embarrassing anecdotes
that you must grin and bear.
Until you stumble up the stairs
and lock yourself away
in the room that was yours
and crumple onto the floor
(like discarded wrapping paper)
So, you lay there and lay there.
You wait out the clock.
And a little piece of dead tape
is adhered to your sock.
Along with the torment -
a generous assortment of...
Old Shames, like before.
And each Christmas, you're gifted with a little more.
It's just Old Shame, like before.
Each Christmas, you're gifted with a little more.
"Where is your girlfriend?
Have you put on weight?"
Is discouraging children, a family trait?
"How much do you make now?
Have you learned how to drive?
Swallow your feelings boy.
What is your life?!"
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10. |
New Year's Resolution
02:55
|
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I have got a new years
resolution
I have got some big new years
plans
It involves you
your mom, and all of your friends
It involves you
your mom, and all your
lady friends
I am gonna get some women pregnant
and run out on all of them
I don't want you to think
that I'm just talking about you
and the women that you know.
I am talkin' as many as I can
yeah, these are my big new years
plans
I am gonna get some women pregnant
and run out on all of them
The family life - what's it matter?
I am out for fun and numbers
I have got a new years
resolution
And you might wanna lock up your
daughters
I am comin' round door to door
layin it on sweet
lookin' to score
I am gonna get some women pregnant
and run out on all of them
the family life - what's it matter
when I am out for fun and numbers?
|
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